Dopamine and Serotonin Technically the Only Two Things You Enjoy
by aspiegiraffe
Summary: In a world of Soul Mates and Soul Bonds, Spencer Reid feels worthless, Will Derek save him in time? Suicide Slash MorganxReid Moreid Self Harm
1. Chapter 1

Waking up is a chore to Spencer Reid, getting up is almost too hard, getting ready for work is painful, being at work, well its unbearable. Today is the day it all ends. Today is the day that Spencer Reid leaves his life, his family, his work and his soul mate behind.

One in every two people is born with a unique design on their wrist, when they meet their soul mate, their mark glows. These people are Submissives. One in every two people is born without a mark on their wrist. Instead their mark only appears when they see the mark of their beloved. These people are the Dominants.

A Dominant's mark will match their Submissive's exactly. Once the mark has formed the two will be considered to be Soul Bonded. They will be able to feel everything the other feels. They will know when their other half is in danger. The link allows for telepathic communication, regardless of distance

Before a pair is Soul Bonded, the Dominant will have almost no telepathic link with their Submissive, only being able to react to the Submissive being in danger, within a relatively small distance. The Submissive will have a minor link with their Dominant, that doesn't depend on distance, it allows them to know when their Dominant is near, or in distress, this link is nothing compared to a Soul Bond.

Spencer has a mark on his wrist, it suits him, and it suits his soul mate too, it is an image of the neurotransmitters Dopamine and Serotonin, the only things that actually make a person happy. Dopamine-Serotonin. Dominant-Submissive. Derek-Spencer.

Spencer Reid hates his mark, not because he hates his soul mate, but because he hates himself. He hates everything about himself and always wears a wristband to cover his mark so his soul mate cannot see it. He's saving Derek really. Saving him from being bonded to such a pathetic excuse for a human being as Spencer.

Spencer Reid cannot do anything right. His father left him and his mother when he was only 10. Fathers don't up and leave their family for no reason. His mother is schizophrenic, but she was functioning before Spencer was born, once he was in her life, she only went downhill. Surely that wouldn't happen for no reason, surely if something goes wrong and there is only one factor that's been changed, then it must be that one factor that is responsible for what has gone wrong. Then there was Elle, she looked to Spencer for guidance and comfort, but did he stop her killing that unsub in cold blood? No, he failed her. And as much as everyone told him that Gideon leaving was not his fault, he knows it was, everything he did was a disappointment to Gideon, else he wouldn't have left without saying goodbye. Not to mention numerous unsubs and victims that Reid has failed over the years.

Spencer Reid is a failure, and that is why he has to protect Derek from ever bonding to him. Spencer Reid is a failure and that is why he needs to leave the earth today.


	2. Chapter 2

When Reid first met the BAU team he nearly had a heart attack, he thought his wrist had been set on fire, and he knew it was Morgan that set it off. Boy was he glad he had long sleeves on that day. It gave him time to assess the situation, and ultimately come to the decision that Derek Morgan would never see his mark, no matter what happened.

The drop-dead gorgeous milk chocolate hunk did not need to be tied down to skinny little Spencer Reid. Morgan would probably resent him if he knew, because, seriously, he got the short end of the stick when it comes to soul mates.

Morgan is handsome, muscular, charming, witty, a social butterfly and not to mention TOTALLY STRAIGHT. How would he even handle having a male soul mate, especially with his past with Buford? He would simply hate Reid for it, resent him totally, it would ruin their working relationship and their friendship. A friendship Reid treasures so much, it's the closest he's ever come to having a best friend, and he wants to keep that friendship, he wants to keep it more than almost anything else. But the thing Spencer wants the most is impossible the odds are 87 million to 1 (and Reid has done the maths), for Morgan to love him back, but that just won't happen, its better off to live this way, protecting Morgan, protecting the team too, and protecting his fragile heart.

Spencer Reid is committed to living half a life, knowing but never having his soul mate, it is the saddest existence known to man, but he must for the sake of Derek Morgan.


End file.
